Last night I had a ‘bad’ dream. I dreamt that I was watching a horror film, and I knew that the film or movie I was watching was not ‘REAL’. In the dream, I was sitting next to a friend, watching a horrific scene which he found entertaining but I found very unpleasant. When I woke up, I wondered why I’d dreamt about watching something like this, which is seemingly unrelated to my life. It consisted of a mentally disturbed serial killer who eventually gave himself up.

Eventually it occurred to me that this was a way for me to understand the ‘scenes’ reported by the media about what is going on in OUR world, like the reports about crimes, violence etc. If you believe in universal spiritual laws, you probably believe that reality as we know it is a projection of our collective imagination. I don’t feel the need to argue this idea through quantum physics, because you either agree with the view or you don’t. What I wanted to understand is: why are we creating a world which has these horrific elements? It was almost like trying to understand why people enjoy watching horror films. Watching and experiencing are different, though. I think we watch in order to understand things that are not in our experience, to have a feeling of catharsis. But why do we want to make these things a part of our world?

Then it occurred to me that, in a sense, we are making a film on the ‘world stage’ (sorry, Shakespeare, your descriptions are too perfect to change). The horrifying elements have come from our FEARS being realised and played out. Why are we fearful? Because we feel the world is UNKNOWN to us. In a gist, we’re not aligned with our true selves, and a myriad of inexplicable, sometimes horrific things have surfaced as a result of that.

But if we are film-makers on this stage, wouldn’t we want to create the MOST BEAUTIFUL PLAY IMAGINABLE? I think we would, but we just don’t know how. Maybe we think it’s GOD (or Godot) rather than we who has the power to write the world script. There are some limitations to what we perceive as our CAPACITY to change things right now. But I think a better reality is definitely possible. It’s time to retrace our steps back to the core issues of who we are so that we can let go of the fears that feed a horrified imagination and embrace the knowledge of a beautiful mind.

Relationship with the Self

Last night as I was doing my evening meditation, I started thinking about relationships and whether anything in life is truly eternal. Is there anything that can never be lost? If so, what?

Straight away, all the things that WON’T last sprang to mind. The body will die. Possessions will be lost. People will change and eventually leave the world. Even memories will fade over time. When nothing can be relied on as constant, what is there left over?

Thinking about this strips away so much of what we have created around us: things, activities, possessions. All that is left as a constant within us is our own consciousness (the ‘I’ which experiences everything). There may be one other thing that’s always there but somehow not there: the passing of time. If all you had to really rely on as a constant in your life was TIME with YOU, would it be enough to make you happy? That’s the situation we are in, and instead of being limiting or lonely, it can be one of the most liberating things we experience: self-awareness and contentment with the self.

But how does this affect relationships? Surely we are not expected to live like hermits, not enjoying the company of our loved ones? I truly feel that deep, ‘real’ relationships are one of the most joyful aspects of life. Realising our own independence (emotional independence) from other people actually enriches our bonds. They, like us, are eternal and independent, so when we form a bond it is only out of love, free-will and joy, not neediness.

We create so many invisible ‘contracts’ with people. You do x,y,z for me and I’ll give you a,b,c in return. This kind of expectation makes relationships into business deals motivated by self-interest, and we begin to resent people or feel guilty within when contracts are not fulfilled (which is BOUND to happen at some point because no one can act like a robot according to our instructions at all times – relationships are not just limited to office hours, after all). Then we get into such a mess that we start feeling disharmony and the joy of life literally diminishes.

But if we come without any contracts, we realise that truly we are in a continuous relationship with no-one but ourselves (or, another way to see it is that we are in relationships with the WHOLE world in different ways at different times). In this way, expectations dissolve and we meet out of choice, love and joy.

Going within ourselves and seeing our emotional independence is not just good for the self; it helps all those we love.