Flowology’s Weblog

We create reality on so many levels, but how can we know what is actually real? Are our thoughts, perceptions, feelings, intuitions actually real? If we can see something, taste it, smell it, touch it, hear it, does that mean it’s real? What if what we can see or hear cannot be seen or heard by others? Usually we define reality through collective perception, but what if the collective cannot perceive something which we perceive very strongly - are they blind or are we mad? We give validity to collective opinion, but is this correct?

I think that it is necessary to rely on the collective to define everyday reality because the collective is what keeps society going. But I think that this is something we need to do for convenience, not something which defines reality. I don’t believe in reality, or to put it another way, I believe in multiple realities. I believe that reality and illusion are not opposites, they are part of the same system which creates experiences. These experiences are relative and they come from personal perception. For instance, when we are children our parents look very big to us, but once we grow they look much smaller. Our perception changes according to our relative position. Sometimes we take collective reality so much for granted that we STOP QUESTIONING. We think ‘that’s just the way things are’. We lose the magic of being alive. We forget that reality is elusive and personal, not rigid and enforced. We lose our imagination, our freedom.

This is a very sad fact. Sometimes it takes a visionary to remind us of our magical life, to show us that we are capable of creating wonderful dreams and transforming them into everyday ‘reality’. Such visionaries have a versatile mind which can see beyond limited ways of understanding reality. They see beyond relative reality in order to search for something enduring, something ABSOLUTE, something which never changes. And sometimes, they find that absolute reality, and they spread the word about something wonderful which connects us all in a bond of enduring love.  But we take that message and often do not understand how to appreciate the wonder of it. We feel the power of God’s message in the messenger’s words, but we don’t know how to keep it alive in our everyday worlds, so we create a system for that message, we make a religion, we make a doctrine. In trying to solidify the message of God, we make it into something rigid, which is exactly what the messenger was trying to free us from. We create commandments and we say that the messenger gave us these ‘rules’ to follow. We become followers, when the messenger wanted us to be the leaders of our own wondrous reality. And that’s when the magic is lost.

Recently I’ve been counselling a friend of mine, Matthew, who is a real fantasist. He lives for IDEAS, and ideas are almost as real to him as reality, if not more so. Sometimes he says wistfully, “What you feel and create in your mind is just as real as the world outside. There are thoughts, but they are still HAPPENING just as much as events out there.” I’m not sure I can fully agree with this, although Matthew’s argument is very convincing. I can see that what we feel is real whether it comes from a self-projected fantasy or from a life event, but somehow I can’t give it as much value because it does not impact on all five physical senses and it is mostly only real for the person creating the fantasy. But what I do believe is that mind creates matter, and thinking about something enough can make it happen in physical reality…

Anyway, Matthew is a funny character. For one thing, he’s handsome and could get any girl he wanted. For another, he is very sensitive and values his freedom a lot. He gets into relationships, gets frustrated and gets out. So now he’s decided he prefers fantasies and would rather have a relationship that is impossible in physical reality. He’s gone for the internet romance option. He exchanges intimacies with a person he barely knows, who he feels very much attracted to based on what he has got to know of her in virtual reality. They are quite happy keeping things limited to that sphere.

I think it’s a little strange, but what about real life relationships? When people first meet, it’s all about idealising each other and creating fantasies together. That’s what keeps the flame of desire burning. Once people are married with a family, mundane responsibilities kick in and we see each other in the true light of day. We either accept each other as human after all, and the love deepens, or we feel the need to chase another fantasy in order to make life exciting once again.

Why are fantasies so exciting? I think it’s because they make us feel powerful. In the world of fantasy, anything is possible and we can be anyone we want. We can make our own stories.

I guess the happiest person in the world is the one who’s reality matches their fantasy. That’s what you call ‘living the dream’!